7

A

International Dish Email, 05/31/2007, New York City, NY

Sister Agnes writes:

Sister Hysterectoria here.

I designed the first San Francisco nun habits. They were based on the head pieces of Medieval Flemish virgins and were made by the City of San Francisco's Costume Bank Dept (it no longer exists.) The city asked $10 each for the 17 habits made. This was Sept or Oct of 1979. The pool of people to join and create the order were all radical faeries (not counting one Ken Bunch). The faeries had had their first ever gathering in Arizona Labor Day weekend, 1979.

The Habit headpieces were nicknamed :"Ear-Brassieres" by the original order

Love,
Sister Hysterectoria aka Agnes de Garron
Founder of San Francisco SPI Order

Email response, 06/01/2007,

Sister Kitty Catalyst adds:

So to spell out for those catching up on SPI herstory

... the habits Sister Hysterectoria refers are the original habits that WE made for ourselves as opposed to the original handful that were permanently borrowed from a traditional convent in Cedar Rapids, Iowa under the pretenses of doing the musical "Sound Of Music."

For those keeping score, Sister Fink was one of those dead nuns whose habits we inherited, not a Sister who was also a fink.

International Dish Email, 10/21/2007, New York City, NY

Sister Agnes writes:

Original SF Order Founder Speaks OUT to the Press

Sister Hysterectoria here to talk about the San Francisco Order the World is dishing. I am an original founder of the San Francisco order and a radical faerie too, sometimes known as Agnes de Garron. I am also an ex-Catholic who has been known to receive holy communion at Mass.

The order was not founded on the idea of degrading nuns of the Roman Catholic church. We founders and the original order of 17 wanted to Be nuns, but we couldn't because: we were gay, we were male, we wanted sex lives out of the closet. So we invented our own nun order and a nun convent too. We thought our order for gay men would allow us all the fun of not obeying the almighty POPE and all the fun of dancing, praying and loving that a happy nun could possibly be. And be charitable and prolitical too. That included wearing petticoats and make up, but only if we wanted to. No enforcement.

If the Vatican sees the order of gay & lesbians SPI nuns now all over the world as a threat, than so be it. They still have all the money, the property, the art works, the power, etc.. And they have the right to criticize the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence too. How could our tiny orders all over the world be a threat to their giant religious empire is beyond me.

If you want to love the Church, hate the gay nuns and be gay and be a faerie too, that is your own business, even if it is a bit confusing to myself and others.

Love, Sister Hysterectoria ( Present Member of NYC order of bad girl nuns)

International Dish Email, 05/19/2008, New York City, NY

Agnes writes about the history of one of her names: Sister Banana Nut Bread.
I am a Chinese Monkey Sign and I always baked Banana Nut Bread for all the Sister Meetings and Potlucks at the SF Convent.

B

Poem, __/__/1995, San Francisco, CA

A Tale of Two Shitties
by Tampon Sinclair

There once were two sisters,
Mouths dripping with foam,
Named Flatulina Grande
and There’s No Place Like Rome.

They were evil incarnate,
Those trailer trash nuns,
With just one glance
They could give you the runs.

Their crimes were unspeakable,
Their deeds were heinus,
These two were so evil
They spoke through their anus.

Flatulina’s favorite alias
was “Grunt Lips Marie”
and Roma really liked
to be called “Stinky Lee”.

The one known for her farts
Longed for slut status
But few could withstand
Such a powerful flatus.

Roma, on the other hand,
Hooked all over the place,
Which explains why she always
Had slarge on her face.

In fact, her secret for what makes
Those supple lips shine
Is her most favorite lip gloss, Non-oxynol 9.

The thing they both lived for,
That they thought was most grand,
Was to terrorize their slave,
The stunning Babs N. Boyland.

They ridiculed and teased her
And played with her head,
They made her go solo
To see “Jungle Red”.

Instead of having
Two evil step-sisters,
Babs was like Cinderella
With two herpes blisters.

All alone one night
Babs heard something weird,
And right from thin air
Someone appeared.

Right in front of her
Floating in mid-air,
The vision said,
"I’m your Diva Godmother, Tampon Sinclair."

"I have come to save you
from the vulgar two,
which you could have done
if you weren’t sniffing glue.

"While they are sleeping,
Before those lumps stir,
My spell will trap them
In a urine soaked dumpster.

"Then, you can do to them
Whatever you will,
But the spell will be broken
With just one bitter pill."

The very next morning
Babs was filled with glee,
Seeing those snakes
Trapped in the USD.

The stench of her prisoners
Made the delicate Babs hack
Which was caused, she discovered,
By excess butt plaque.

She began her retaliation
With no plans of rushing,
By quelling that stench
With a thorough butt brushing.

As they struggled to hold
Their third high colonic,
Babs lounged on her chaise
With a tall vodka tonic.

Then something went wrong
With that last turpentine douche,
Faint rumblings creshendoed
Into a deafening "WHOOSH!"

Knowing turpentine would thoroughly
Clean out their poop chutes,
Babs, thinking ahead,
donned SCUBA gear and hip boots.

Babs cleaned up in a flash
Knowing how sister shit stains,
And pondered why Grunt Lips and Stinky’s
Enemas would leave no remains.

The two Babs missed
Like a festering zit
Disappeared because
they’re 100% full of shit.

To be DIVAstating
You can’t rely on high gloss
But when brushing your butt teeth
Remember to floss.

Nunway's Founding Story, 10/30/2014, San Francisco, CA

Membership email from Sr. Barbra

In 2009, Sister MJ + I collaborated to design the Sisters residency at YBCA for SPI 30th anniversary exhibition which included an exhibition and a number of public programs. Among those public programs emerged Project Nunway inspired by Federico Fellini's "Roma" As it was still a seedling in my mind, i took a DVD copy of Roma to Srs. MJ + Tuna's pad in Oakland. We 3 watched it and got excited about re-staging the dreamy Roman Catholic runway show. I recall Mary feeling strongly about Nunway being accessible and affordable to all Sisters (and not just those who have money) and thus the recycled aspect came into being and she especially advocated for "exhibition not competition." We talked about several titles and eventually landed on Project Nunway though I've NEVER liked it's association with the reality show given my arty want for the event to be associated with Fellini. Before making it official, I pitched the idea to the YBCA/Sisters residency organizing committee that likely included Srs. Hellen, Zsa, Mary Tim, Maud, Farrah, Mary Ralph (who else?) to talk about the idea further.

Sr. Zsa Zsa, I recall, was very enthusiastic about the event and brought in his designer friends Mrs. Vera and Jack Davis. Sister Zsa's contribution to the first Nunway also included wearing a Mrs. Vera boba straw outfit on the Nunway.

More important than the founding, I believe, is the work of cultivating of an event from idea to manifestation, year after year with diminishing volunteer support from my Sisters. Nunway might have been a good idea but building five fashion fundraisers from the ground up annually was the real work. Setting up and building new inroads to communities of new designers and volunteers year after year is the work. The work is also developing a brand identity that champions sustainability and building communities through art. Nunway continues to inspire and benefit other US Sister houses to replicate Nunway to better serve their communities. It isn't solely the fun of picking the theme or who's gonna dj. It isn't about magazines covers. It's about art + recycled fashion + building joyful communities.

Dish Email, 01/04/2008, Edinburgh, Scotland

Brother Bimbo writes:

Many years ago, before I was even a novice, I was helping the Sisters collect money for Pride. Obviously everything was sepia in those days.

We were in CC's, and then, as now, some young man decided it would be really, really funny to try and grab Sister Bobby's veil. Unfortunately for him, he made his attempt in front of a leather dyke, visiting from San Francisco.

She grabbed the young man, held him up against the wall and, pausing between each word for dramatic effect, barked out "Don't. You. EVER. Try. That. With. One. Of. The. Sisters. AGAIN."

The young man was not seen by us again.

Dish Email, 06/19/2009, Edinburgh, Scotland

Brother Bimbo writes:

Ten years ago, on this date, a young trainee monk came down from the local brewery with a cask of pink beer. It turned out to be the first steps in a long and fruitful, if not always happy, journey.

In that time, I've learned of the diversity of the Sisters' work first hand on three continents. I've been to bingo, strip auctions, and fetish awards, and been fed and watered whilst watching drag shows. I've visited numerous memorials to those lost to AIDS, and one to LGBT people murdered in the Holocaust. I've discovered that we really need to get Sister Erotica and I in the same room doing the Mystery Science 3000 thing with gay porn, and that my German really sucks, but contains some interesting vocabulary.

Nearer home, I've discovered that the Edinburgh Fringe (usually pretty hellish for the locals) can be made bearable by getting into habit and separating tourists from their cash for our local AIDS charity.

I've been co-administrating this mailing list for years, ever since I accidentally asked Sister Hedra a question which made it clear that I was familiar with the software used to run it. Doing that has really made me aware of our family, its strength and its squabbles.

And I'm still learning, and discovering things I would like to learn. The journey continues, on a circuitous route, with no particular destination in mind except for univeral, guilt-free joy.

In a little over a week, having made the date a moveable feast, a cantankerous old nun will celebrate Pride and then have a bijou pissupette to mark 10 years of doing this stuff. There will be a cask of pink beer.

Thank you, my Sisters, -Bim

email from Sister Vish, San Francisco, CA

Boom joined SPI when she saw an ad we placed in an arts magazine in 1981.So it was a virgin birth, or more apropo, she was fashioned out of clay and we breathed life into her.

Love,Vish

C

Quote, Winter 2006/2007, RFD #128 (Radical Faerie Digest)

Sister Soami writes
but as Sr. Chanel often says "More is Better."

D

E

Dish Email, 08/12/2007, Los Angeles, CA

Sister Erotica writes to the dish

Dear Sisters,

On Wednesday evening a few of us attended the premiere of a movie/documentary called 'Tweakers', a tool to help educate about the crystal-meth epidemic, which was produced by www.thetweakersproject.org. We had assisted with funding the making of the film.

Anyways, after the show an older gentleman stopped me and said he had us (The Sisters) to credit for saving his son's life. He mentioned that about a year ago (June '06), his son was approaching his 6 month sobriety point. But had decided to give up and wanted to use again and was heading to the San Vicente Inn (a clothing optional resort in West Hollywood, where the MOPI Sisters were staying during Conclave). He met a Sister at the door, and after conversing with her, she suggested he turn around and go home. Well, the father was proud to say that his son is still sober today and thanks the Sisters.

It was a very touching story and I was proud to be your Sister.
(Sisters Soami, Right Sarong, Pinky Lady-Slipper, Clara, Vulgara or Guard Shanti Fey).

Thank you.
Sister Erotica

F

Origins of Veil of Shame, 07/07/2014, Dish email request from Sr. Isadora

Hello Isadora,

I can give you the Sistory of the Veil of Shame. It was created in Philadelphia in the 2007 LGBTQ Health Summit. I was a novice at the time and I attended the event for my job. I met a number of other Black Veils from around the country at the event including Constance Craving, Shameless, myself and a few others that I forget. We all agreed in advance to manifest during the event.

On Friday, March 16th, most of us Sisters participated in a workshop call “Outreach Outside the Box: Grrrrilla!”. One of the three presenters was Sister Constance Craving from San Francisco. It happened that the following Saturday night was March 17 (St Patrick’s Day). Philly has a large boy’s town and a bunch of bars. We wanted to bring some sort of awareness to the community about the LGBTQ summit. In that workshop we birthed the idea of the veil of shame.

We had one volunteer paired with each Sister that night. Each volunteer wore a white t-shirt and was given a sharpie marker. We proceeded to head out to the gayborhood and hit the bars. As a novice and coming from a new mission in a rural community, this was my first experience doing bar ministry. We invited patrons to give us any shame that they no longer wished to hold on to by writing it on the t-shirts and we would burn them at the end of the night to release that energy into the universe.

People were drawn to the veils and began writing….the obvious came out such as “faggot”, “slut”, and so forth. Then people started opening up and writing more. Some people experienced some intense emotional releases. This was a surprisingly intense night for me. This is the night that I got my calling to do Sister work. The experience touched my soul.

Later that night we took pictures of the shirts (I'm not sure who has them) and then we burned the shirts. Constance might know more details.

Sister Faun D'Amen
Eureka Sisters SPI
Abbey of the BIG Red Wood

Gay Life Radio Series, 1982 - 1984, San Francisco, CA

http://www.glbthistory.org/gaybackmachine/randyalfred.html

In the search text box, enter Bobbi Campbell and click Find Again
In the recording from 1984-09-16. There is a Sister blessing that starts around 22:30.

G

H

I

J

Dish Email, 10/06/2008, San Francisco, CA

Sister Lily writes: She helped to create the Queer Army

K

Biography, 09/14/2008, Seattle, WA

The New Novice Sister Rubinya was recently discovered only by accident. After an unfortunate douching accident by Guard Rubb.

Rubb was in the shower one day taking care of the proper needs that any gay male should. When he stumbled in the shower and the shower shot was force a little too deep. Once he recovered from the stumble Rubb removed the shower shot only to have a strange and uncomfortable feeling in his gut. There was a strange movement in his stomach. Like something trying to crawl out. Rubb pushed and with a loud grown - out on the floor landed this little angel looking up at him. Rubb was puzzled realizing, 'Oh My-Butt Babies' do exist.

The newborn extended her arms to Rubb and Said 'I am Rubinya, I have been inside your booty guiding you and watching over you.' Rubb fainted.

Hours past, when Rubb awoke he looked around to discover Rubinya was gone.

A few weeks pass and Rubb never spoke of his experience. But that night Rubinya came to him waking him in his sleep. Rubinya during the time away grew into this fantastic goddess the color on her face glistened and shimmered with all of the colors of the rainbow.

She spoke to Rubb 'I have lived in you, Now you shall live in me'. She spins around and her beautiful rubberized veil wraps around Rubb, cocooning him into a large sausage like mummy. Rubinya stands above him, squats down a little only to start sucking him in through her ass. Rubb is now in her.

Bio History, 06/05/2007, n/a

From 6/5/07 eMail to Sr Titania:

It was Sister Clara Voyant who I contacted about being a daughter house of the seattle Abbey. after I approached Sister Monsterio about being a member of the order I was told that seeing that as I was too far away to go through the novititate I was just to go right ahead and just do my own thing, which is exactly what I did. I turned up at dances held by the local gay social group called The Tropical Fruits. and it wasn't until I finally moved to Canberra that I was blackveiled by Mother Edna, who now btw, is living somewhere in Virginia. My memory is quite bad after having a car accident but it couldn't have been less than the mid 90's that I joined.

eMail from Sister Kitty, 06/19/2011, San Francisco, CA

Shrouda Turina Tarpe Le Death is an "*", inspired by Sister Camille Leon's statement that many in the community felt that the Names Project Quilt was draining resources away from more urgent needs, and having gallows humor to spare ... the quilt was dubbed the death tarp. To honor our mixed feelings I invented Sister Shrouda Turina Tarpe Le Death as a winky joke for those of us who may feel antagonism towards the project. I think she should remain but have a "*" added. I know it's always a thrill to hear her name read aloud amongst all the other nuns of the above and in a way she embodies much of the spirit of people living with AIDS then and now.

L